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The Rev. Laura Matarazzo
February 21, 2007 -  Ash Wednesday

Today we are invited to the observance of a Holy Lent. Nowhere else in our liturgical tradition is there a clearer call to participation in our common life in Christ. No such words issue in the season of Advent. There is no declaration of intention at the start of Epiphany or on the Feast of Pentecost. Lent, like no other time in our church year, draws us into intentional holy living. 

And it is by invitation that we are drawn! We are invited to undertake actions and patterns of life that will draw us closer to God. We are invited, we members of the body of Christ in this Calvary Church, to more intimate relationship with our Creator. We may choose to accept the invitation and enter into this life-giving activity, or we may choose to "stay home," as it were, to continue our daily routines, uninterrupted. The choice is ours to make. 

So, let us look at the life-giving patterns are we invited to undertake. They are as follows: Self-examination and repentance, prayer, fasting, self-denial, and reading and meditating on God's holy Word. Perhaps these don't sound so lively, so life-giving to you, but if you accept this invitation, you will not be disappointed, I assure you. Listen! 

The first observance is self-examination and I liken it to what we do when we move from one place to another. Most of us have moved at some point in our lives. Many of us have moved from house to house, or from an old office to a new one. Most of us have altered the use of a room in our homes, necessitating a "move" or change from one purpose to another. All of us have cleaned out a closet or a drawer at one time or another. Even some of the youngest of us have had to sort through a toy box once a year if for no other reason than to make room for new toys. All of these activities call for examining contents. And although some of us may be a little eager to see just what has accumulated, we are more likely to be daunted by the prospect of having to sift through so much stuff. Either way, in order to move, we have to brave the cobwebs of an undisturbed attic or cellar, we have to open up boxes, we have to reach into the dark corners of the closet or, gingerly, stretch our hand to the very back of the drawer. We have to bring light to those dark places, to see what is there; we sometimes have to pull drawers away from their frames and dump their contents, wholesale, onto another surface, to sort through it. 

This, my friends, is what self-examination is like. Indeed, the prospect may be daunting. It is not easy to look at ourselves. We really don't want to open that wound that we so effectively dressed last week, even when we know it is festering under the bandage. We are not eager to find in the dark corners of our hearts traces of anger and bitterness that are the remnants of not forgiving our neighbors, or ourselves. And, really, who wants to face that tower of pride or that immovable wall of stubbornness within? On the other hand, we often have just as much trouble affirming the goodness we find inside. We are hesitant to ask ourselves, “What great gifts has God given me? Am I good at math? Is patience one of my strengths? Have I been blessed with a beautiful voice, or with a superior mind?  

Even when we find the courage to explore the recesses of our hearts and souls, that is only the first step. Then, we have the task of deciding what to honor and use, and what to let go of! One might think, "I know that pain--I can stand that one!" Or "I've grown accustomed to that stubborn resistance. In fact, if I am honest, I am kind of proud of it!" And, in terms of the goodness that is in you, you realize that once you acknowledge your gifts, you are responsible to use them. You wonder, “Who will I become if I start using my gifts for the good of others?” or “Who will I be if I start letting go?"  

Which brings us to one of the life-giving parts of our Lenten discipline! We need only expose our contents to the light of God…open ourselves and offer the whole messy closet of our being to the one who created us. God will relieve us of what harms us and bless our many gifts so that we begin to grow, more and more, into the persons we are created to be! 

This giving over to God is repentance, the second part of our holy Lent…after we have examined ourselves, we can take all that is dark and painful, all the parts of ourselves that prevent us from growing and thriving, and we can give them to God. We confess that we have fearfully hoarded God’s gifts, we confess our misdoings—our sins of commission and of omission—and seek forgiveness from the God whose steadfast love covers them all, and we are free to move, free to change and grow. When we examine ourselves and confess, we open space in ourselves for Holy Spirit to dwell and to work in us. 

Then, we are called to prayer, the third way of observance. We need to talk with God, continually. That is the way we stay connected. We know that this is how we sustain our friendships and how we grow in love for one another. It's no different with you and God; converse with God whenever you want, silently or aloud. God always wants to hear from you; there is not a moment in time that God does not want to be connected with you. Open up the lines of communication! 

After prayer, the fourth holy way: fasting. Giving something up or taking something on…Either way--as a removal of something from your life, or as the addition of a spiritual practice--fasting calls for an alteration of your daily routine and it becomes an interruption that reminds you of the God to whom you are responding. You may have to pray for strength to resist the temptation of something you have given up, or you may have to pray for patience (and strength!) with something you have taken on. Fasting is bound to lead to prayer.  

The fifth way of observing a holy Lent is self-denial, and it is distinguished from fasting, although we often hear them as the same thing. We hear self-denial as denying ourselves something we like. More importantly, self-denial is the putting of others before ourselves. No doubt you will find yourself in circumstances during this Lenten Season where your own interests are in conflict with those of another. Stop there. Examine yourself and the situation. Turn to God. Then, pray. You can do all these things in a matter of minutes, if not seconds--examine, repent, pray…and then see if you will put the other person's interest before your own. Try it. Try it more than once. 

Finally, the last two ways to observe a holy Lent are reading and meditating on God's holy Word. Our reading of the Word will resonate in the holy spaces created by our self-examination and repentance. This brings us full circle. By reading, we will receive the words, and by meditation we will allow them to descend into our hearts, where the wisdom of God will feed our souls and inspire our actions and observances. 

Come then, if you will. Let us join one another in the observance of a holy Lent. There are many ways to do this. You will see services and events listed in the weekly bulletins. On the table in the back of the church you will find a pamphlet of daily meditations entitled “Essentials,” and a “Hope Chest” for contributions to Episcopal Relief and Development. However you choose to respond to this invitation, I urge you to remember the first part of our observance: Examine yourself and repent. Be in touch with yourself as you walk through this season of Lent. Turn to God for help in discerning your own soul’s health and give it into God’s hands, daily. You will be blessed and, by God’s grace, you will be blessing to others. Amen. 

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